…lacking the sense of belongingness to that nude panorama which saddens and scares me…

Yesterday, I went to railway station with my husband and a very close friend. We had to drop her husband for Mumbai. At the same time, another friend was also there to see off his family, leaving for Nagpur. So, we dropped my friend’s husband and went to meet that family. The meeting was great. We were happy to meet each other. But, right from the time we parked our car till we came back in an hour’s time, I was oozing with fearfulness and sadness.

There were people sleeping around at the place where we parked our car.

I am an Indian and have gone through such sights a lot of time.

I should have been habituated as yet, but I did not and could not. They all were spread with such freedom and carelessness as if that parking space belonged to them only. I felt as a trespasser. I felt sad about those people who have no perfect space to sleep. And then I entered the enquiry area where I have to check my every step in order not to step over any human being sleeping there. Same there, that space as well seemed to belong to them. I was the trespasser. It saddened me to the core. I don’t know why I don’t get used to it, like other people do. I don’t know why I can’t live comfortably with the fact that, ya…mine is not a country where everyone is blessed with abundance.

I know, while going through such a naked panorama, I can always thank God for placing me on the other side of the world, where I can be easily spoilt with choices. But, at very fewer times has it happened that I have expressed my gratitude to the Ultimate Power. What happens often is that I start feeling sad and I actually have to control that part of my brain which is almost always ready to pour out.

What happens to them when they are not well? And, it’s a vicious circle. Since they don’t get good food, they become unwell and they remain unwell because they do not get food and medicines. Where do poor women take bath? How rough and unhygienic that fabric must be which they employ, when those women are down? Where do those couples make out? What do those people do in life?

Are they happy?

Or, is it true to infinite limits, that HAPPINESS LIES IN YOUR MIND…ONLY???

Or, is it that I MUST REMAIN HAPPY TO INFINITE LIMITS BECAUSE I AM BLESSED (IN CERTAIN WAYS)?

Anyways, as I was walking my way to the platform, various eyes were eying me. Their poverty saddened me but at the same time, it scared me as well.

I could see wheel chairs.

I could see those begging eyes.

I could see bodies draped in scraps.

I could feel the untold stories.

I could smell that lack of everything.

I could feel the sadness inside me.

I could feel the fear inside me.

I could feel the world around me.

Among those must be various minds and souls who are frustrated and cannot bear it anymore.

There was a middle-aged lady draped in bright orange synthetic saree. Her skinny structure and large sunken dark black eyes spoke a lot about the thirst for various materials desired by her. Her head moved according to my movement. I was shaken to the core. I felt that she might rush towards me and scratch me. Definitely, she won’t get any material from me just by scratching me. But, she could definitely receive some kind of solace. I won’t call it sadistic pleasure. Never. Because I am in absolute agreement with her act.

Then, as I moved forward towards the train where my friend and his family were waiting, there was a man, in his thirties, in off-white kind-of-dirty shirt and trousers (they must have been white when new) who was looking at me while his right hand in the pocket of his trousers. Was there bomb in there? Was he planning to murder me or blast Ahmedabad Railway Station? And then suddenly I realized that there might be someone who had been planning to blast Ahmedabad Railway Station on 10^th of June, 2012. And

coincidentally I am there on that day. They would blast it not because they want their certain demands to be fulfilled but because they lack the sense of belongingness to this world.

And I lacked the sense of belongingness last night at railway station. Almost daily I witness such a nude panorama but still I cannot proof myself from being affected by such nudity. Are stories around me so sadly real or am I so week that I get affected so easily?